Maybe this is a Mad World
by Lady-Dragonguardian
Summary: Makoto wonders about her life as a Senshi and as a person as she reflects on the death of her parents. Songfic to Mad World.


All rights reserved.

No part of this work may be reproduced or copied in any form by all means. Sailor Moon

is a product of Bandai, Toei, and Naoko Takeuchi.

All the other characters and this story are property of me Ladydragonguardian.

You can take this fic and put it on your page,

but please mail me and just tell me you did it.

Just as long as I get the credit for my story and this story stays in tact.

All other standard fanfic disclaimers apply. So don't bring your Lawyers!

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"Don't hit me!"  
"I'll be updating my other works later, school and the Marshall University Marching Band has me slightly bogged down!"?  
"But never fear, our break is almost here!"  
"I've had this one in my head for awhile and had nothing to put it too, but after hearing 'Mad World' on the Gears of War commercial...I just had to"  
"I don't own the song "Mad World" Gary Jules does! So nope can't sue me for that one either!"  
"Enjoy! Please review!"  
-------------------  
Kino Makoto stared at the clock on her cellular phone. The time on the device read midnight.  
"It's official" She muttered outloud. She had now been an orphan for half of her life.  
The young eighteen year old Senshi of Jupiter sat on a bridge, her legs dangling over the edge. She stared into the dark waters below. Lightning flashed over head illuminating her figure. The rain slowly dripped down her face as her hair started to plaster against her skin. She cursed as a few strands covered her eyes. Minako had convinced her layers were the way to go with her hair, yes they were lovely but there were a few strands to short to pull back. Makoto had been through much in her short years of life. She was tired of it. Tired of being a Senshi, tired of protecting, and overall just plain tired.

_All around me are familiar faces,  
Worn out places,  
Worn out faces,  
Bright and early for the daily races,  
Going nowhere,  
Going nowhere,   
Their tears are filling up their glasses,  
No expression,  
No expression,  
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow,  
No tomorrow,  
No tomorrow,  
_  
There was no doubt in her mind that she loved each and every one of them, but it wasn't the same. Growing up without one parent can be difficult, growing up without parents even tougher, and raising yourself is beyond what most people can fathom. She dealt with it though, and turned to the martial arts. Tomorrow, well today now was the International Martial Arts tournament in Tokyo. She was attending, and fighting. With all the preperations she had endured she had almost forgotten today. Well at least she let the others think that. The past few days had been hell, the nightmares had returned. The fire, the pain, the screaming, the voices, the darkness. For some reason she had 'died' in the past few dreams, odd that she seemed so at ease with the thought.

_And I find it kind of funny,  
I find it kind of sad,  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had,  
I find it hard to tell you,  
I find it hard to take,  
When people run in circles it's a very very,  
Mad world,  
Mad world_

Haruka was concerned. She saw it. The pain, anguish and hatred. She sat and endured a practice session with Makoto a day prior.  
-Flashback-  
_"Wow Makoto..." Haruka huffed from the ground  
"Sorry" Mako managed. Helping the slightly taller Senshi up.  
"How about I watch for awhile? I won't be able to walk for a week as it is" Haruka smiled  
"Alright"  
Haruka intently watched the Senshi of Thunder. Michiru walked up beside her.  
"You can read it in her movements, why all the hatred and anguish I wonder" She spoke softly to the smaller woman.  
"I'm not sure love. Maybe nerves?"  
"No..no. It's much more than that. She's taking out her frustrations...hardcore"  
Haruka tensed as Makoto was dropped to the floor by one of the older members. She let out a slight growl and lunged at the man, who was much larger than her. Haruka gasped letting go of Michiru, jumping over the bench in front of her, she reached down and grabbed Makoto who was tearing into the man, Mako kicked her off and leapt up. She let out a slight gasp and ran for the door. Michiru ran over to her.  
"Are you alright love?" Michiru asked concern dripping from her voice  
"Uh...yeah...just a little breathless...at the moment"_

It wasn't her business, she knew that. But her friend was hurting and was no where to be found. Just then she drove by a bridge and saw a small figure leaning over the edge. She thought nothing of it, until a brilliant flash illuminated the sky.  
"Found you" Haruka smirked  
Makoto continued to watch the water. She remembered the water. She thought about the concept, she was only nine, she remembered looking up out of the water and seeing it 'on fire.' That was the last memory of that night. Sometimes she could still hear her Mother screaming, she could hear it now. A small tear slid down her face. She wanted this to end. She was tired of dragging herself through life. She slid up to the edge of the bridge, she should have died in the water all those years ago, maybe it was time now.  
"Don't you dare!" She heard a voice. Makoto turned around.  
"What are you doing?" The older woman asked  
"Thinking...just thinking. Leave me alone!" Mako shot back, startling Haruka.  
"Come back with me, you've got a big day in the morning."  
"Leave me"  
"I won't. I'll drag you if I must"  
Makoto huffed. Maybe this could wait. Maybe she'd change her mind. Maybe she'd have another pleasant dream where she didn't exist to plague the world. Maybe this was a mad world after all.  
_  
And I find it kind of funny,  
I find it kind of sad,  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had,   
I find it hard to tell you,  
I find it hard to take,  
When people run in circles it's a very very,  
Mad world,  
Mad world,   
Enlarging your world,  
Mad world...   
_---------------------------  
Hope you enjoyed it. This will be the first chapter of a three part songfic! Thanks for reading! Please review!  
-Lady-D


End file.
